[ At least it's pretty easy to realise what he's going on about - it's not like the two of them have seen each other that many times, after all, let alone in some test-like setting.
But unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) there's an entire gap between the two of them in how they think about these things. Ange could make up her mind so easily about staying behind since that's just what she's like. She doesn't mind pain, she doesn't mind dying, she's already suffered it so many times that she's gotten used to it. It's why she doesn't think of it as a big deal that Jean got out while she didn't - good on him, really, but she doesn't regret anything about her decision. Maybe the fact that the tattoo she gained from it makes her feel bad sometimes, but like hell she's going to let anyone at all on to the fact she is still capable of being affected by being called defective. ]
Come on, you really think that's a big deal? Enough to want to bring it up even now? [ Her tone is a little softer, at least, so it doesn't sound like she's laughing at him. But she's still taking it all pretty lightly. ]
I made my decision to stay behind back there, even if everyone would have left, I would still have been sitting there. I'm not going to sacrifice anyone else's life for my own, that'd just be lame.
[ Some may call it selflessness or bravery, but honestly, it's more part of some sort of general apathy. ]
[ While she may look at her tattoo with some regret, Jean wouldn't bother to look at his if he didn't have to. There was a great immense of pain that settled in his chest whenever he took a single glimpse; even thinking of the fact that he had it made feel as if his stomach just fell out, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he hoped that no one would wake as he spoke; ]
There's just some things that's hard to forget, you know? [ He can deal with not bringing it up after this, but it... just felt like something he needed to say. Especially after all this time. ] I just needed to get it off my chest.
[ Because god knows how much of a emotional wreck he'll be if he constantly keeps everything under lock and key. ]
Hey... [ But his tone dips, as if he were annoyed, staring at the wall ahead of him. ] Are you trying to say that I'm lame? I don't need that this late at night.
Alright, then I'll leave that talk until the morning. [ This is what Ange does best, after all. Act lightly about things. Let nothing faze you. Pretend everything goes straight through you, and one day it might actually become reality - in a sense, it's already become reality for her. Haven can't hurt her. Yao can't do anything to her. For the most part, anyway, since she knows her weak spot is still the people she cares about.
There's a small pause and then her tone sounds maybe a slight bit less deadpan than just now. ]
Do you always think this deeply about these kind of things?
Leave it for next week. Or better yet, next month. [ Maybe she'll forget by then HAHAHAHAHAAHA. But who knows, she obviously hasn't forgotten him since the last time they've spoke. ]
What if I do? Are ya' gonna call me lame for that, too?
Not lame. [ Although saying "not lame" implies she'd still call him something else for it, huh.. although it seems to be something she has to think about for a moment, since she goes quiet as she turns the phone over in her hand a few times. ]
I guess I'd rather call it "dangerous". [ And she actually sounds more serious now. As far as that's possible where Ange's concerned, anyway. ] If you keep lingering too much on stuff like that, it'll all just get too much for you eventually. There's only so much shit people can take.
[ ... ] I guess what I'm trying to say is learn how to shrug things off a little better.
[ Like her. Because that's totally healthy, yeah. ]
He takes a moment and lets her words sink, putting them into consideration and slowly weaving them out. It's not like he's trying to start an argument, but— ] I don't think I can do that.
[ He's always adding more weight on his shoulders and is (slightly) aware of it. Constantly concerned of keeping his friends alive and only continuing to build on the thought that he probably had no power to do that was all too common to him, so it shouldn't come to much of a surprise that he would overthink things of the past.
Especially when there's a half-eaten corpse that comes to mind. ]
Maybe it's because I think to much, but sometimes I... kinda need these things to help keep moving forward. You get me?
[ "You get me" might be pushing it. After all, Ange can understand it more than she'd usually admit in her casual moods - she has things she cares about too, things she'd fight like an animal for if she had to defend them - and things have been dragging her down too for long periods of time in the past too, but..
.. she had been ready to give it up. To let go of everything. She can't see Jean doing something like that at all, for better or worse. (No, she won't put it that way even to herself, it's definitely for the better, he doesn't deserve that.) ]
You need to sing a girl to sleep to help keep moving you forward? What a weird guy.
[ For a moment she pauses though, and there's a soft breath with some actual emotion into it if you bother listening enough. ]
Well, I guess I don't mean that. I just really suck at talking about these kind of things. There's things even I'd rather not think about, you know. [ As unfazable as she seems and as much as she tries spreading that kind of philosophy.
There's a sigh and the sound of her rolling over in bed lazily. ] And I guess there's this and that I don't know how to talk to people about, either.. Hey, night time confessions are a well guarded secret, so you better not tell anyone that.
[ She's still saying it all with a casual tone though - it's probably so she can cover up later by saying she was just kidding or something along the lines of "I can't believe you'd fall for that.." ]
[ He doesn't have time to live life carelessly and with regrets! ...
Only because he never knows if and when he'll ever die. YOLO. ]
Hey, you're... [ He actually bites his tongue for a moment. People opening up to isn't something that he's particularly adjusted to, and her words come to a surprise. And he's only even more shocked when he hears actual emotion in her words? (Dang girl you're just full of surprises.) ] You're not too great with this whole 'friendship' deal, are you?
What a cruel thing to say to a girl in the middle of the night. [ DRYLY... because she honestly has heard far worse insults than something that's actually more an observation - and a true fact on top of it - than anything else. ]
Are you trying to suggest we're friends?
[ Is she trying to talk around the topic so she doesn't have to fully admit it?
[ THERE'S IMPORTANT REASONS FOR THAT. BROCON REASONS. ]
Tc-- [ There's an oddly choked noise all of a sudden. Not like she's about to cry or anything, but more as if she's surprised or taken aback - which is already more than most people can say they've heard out of this girl. It takes her a moment or two before she can even get out more words than that. ]
What are you saying?! [ Yup, there it is, the tsun.. the true sign that Ange does not know how to friendship whatsoever. ] Don't just say you'd pick up the phone for me late at night like it's a big deal or whatever, moron! We just happened to talk a few times, that's all, right? You don't even know if you can trust me, so don't say something like that so carelessly!
[ There's no huff at the end of it, but let's be real, there might as well have been with how she rambled.. her cheeks are probably a little red too, but thankfully he can't see that. ]
[ IF ONLY HE KNEW, MAYBE HE'D SUGGEST SHE AND MIKASA MAKE A BROCON CLUB. ]
Well I would be a liar if I said I wasn't worried for a second. Getting a call in the middle of the night isn't a common thing, especially from someone who hasn't talked to me in forever. [ Is that a hint of teasing in his tone?
Why yes. Yes it is. What an asshole. ] Well you just happened to open up, right? Are you sure you can trust me with that sort of information? I mean, one click of a button and I can let everyone know something about you that a few probably don't even know...
But I won't. Because I do trust you, even if it seems stupid.
[ "What an asshole" is just about what is going through Ange's mind right now as she hears that first bit.. even though that's pretty hypocritical since she's such a brat to most people she interacts with as well. Although she'd argue it's different if anyone would point it out to her, really. ]
Do you think I'm really going to give a shit if people know that I'm not exactly great with making friends? I'm pretty sure most of them already figured. [ UNFORTUNATELY.. it's hard to seem cool when you're actually a gigantic loser. ] But I guess it's a moot point if you trust me.. but.. you know, don't get it wrong, it's not like I particularly care whether you trust me or not. It means nothing to me.
[ Yeah. Clearly. It's why she's making sure to point it out elaborately.. ]
[ Do they know about your potty mouth GIRL YOU'RE FIVE. ]
Really? I didn't even notice until we had this conversation. [ Somehow it all managed to fly right over his head, but that's possibly because he's not the greatest at making friends, either... ]
... You know, pointing it out like that, you really make it seem like kinda do care. Even if it's just a tiny bit.
Also wow, Jean, way to call her out on her tsun. There's a moment of silence from her end - because she's trying to force her tone down to its usual flat level again, but not like she's going to admit that - before she speaks up again. ]
Well, I guess how you mentioned it? It was pretty obvious with how much you said you didn't care that you did, y'know? [ He doesn't know how to explain this kind of thing, it's way out of league in terms of anything. ] It didn't feel as direct as you usually are.
[ HER TONE PRACTICALLY TURNS TO ICE... if she was Elsa, you could practically start building snowmen in the middle of Haven by now. ]
Are you seriously calling me a tsundere? [ Of course he's not using the word - maybe since he doesn't know about it, people from his world tend to be a little behind on the times - but from the description it's obvious that it's exactly what he's trying to convey with more words.
And she's not a tsundere, okay. Totally not. Don't misunderstand. Don't let the twintail skirt and thigh highs combo fool you!! ]
[ get over horseboy she'll ride you all night long ]
No, I'm not! I'm exactly telling you that because I'm not one! [ And that's exactly why she's denying it now.. multiple times.. in a row.. because she's not.. yeah.
Obviously Ange is shooting herself in the foot here, but in the middle of her frenzy she hardly realises that as she starts to explain. ]
Tsundere is.. well.. people who are rude on the outside but all stupid and mushy on the inside, I guess. Girls who'd give you chocolate and then punch you into the face, maybe.
[ Sounds like a perfect description of Ange lbr. ]
... That... [ Really... what else does she expect him to say after that? ] That sounds exactly like you, actually.
[ There's some dry concern in his voice, but the concern is mainly directed towards himself. ]
The more you protest and the more you talk about it, the more it fits your personality. [ A pause. ] Tsundere, right? So should I start calling you... pfff... Tsunge? Ha... hahahahaha!!
Calling Jean late at night was a bad decision, she's slowly starting to realise.. +1 for Ange's pile of regrets, apparently. ]
Call me that once to my face and I'll show you a world of pain. [ Maybe it'd be more intimidating if she didn't still sound so icy about it, but this is how the Tsunge operates, sorry to say... ] And wipe that smile off your face, moron!
[ Not that she can see it, but.. well, with the way he's laughing.. ]
[ It's what she deserves for calling him at the middle of the night for no reason at all, to be honest. ]
Oh, I'll be sure to call you that from now on. [ Because he may not hit a girl back but that only proves that he's right. ] So, are you glad you called me of all people in the middle of the night?
[ Totally putting punching the grin off Jean's face next time she sees him at the top of her to do list. Screw everything, who does he think he is, calling her a tsundere while he hardly even knows what it means to begin with?! ]
Yeah. I'm so happy I could cry. [ But even though she's obviously aiming to use her usual deadpan tone, the tsun frustration in it is obvious, causing her to practically grumble the words. ] Maybe this means I'll have to bother you every night from now on.
[ If she can't have her dignity, then no one is getting any sleep!! ]
I wasn't serious about calling you like this again! [ Not like she wants to talk to you, Jean, oh my god. What are friends, is that something people do, especially when it's with guys... this stuff is a whole lot easier with girls when she isn't grumping and tsunning all the way. ]
Sure, I'll go to sleep now, but it's not since you told me to or anything. Don't get a big head or you'll start looking like a horse.
[ Beep.
Looks like someone just hung up to put her pillow over her head instead. ]
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But unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) there's an entire gap between the two of them in how they think about these things. Ange could make up her mind so easily about staying behind since that's just what she's like. She doesn't mind pain, she doesn't mind dying, she's already suffered it so many times that she's gotten used to it. It's why she doesn't think of it as a big deal that Jean got out while she didn't - good on him, really, but she doesn't regret anything about her decision. Maybe the fact that the tattoo she gained from it makes her feel bad sometimes, but like hell she's going to let anyone at all on to the fact she is still capable of being affected by being called defective. ]
Come on, you really think that's a big deal? Enough to want to bring it up even now? [ Her tone is a little softer, at least, so it doesn't sound like she's laughing at him. But she's still taking it all pretty lightly. ]
I made my decision to stay behind back there, even if everyone would have left, I would still have been sitting there. I'm not going to sacrifice anyone else's life for my own, that'd just be lame.
[ Some may call it selflessness or bravery, but honestly, it's more part of some sort of general apathy. ]
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There's just some things that's hard to forget, you know? [ He can deal with not bringing it up after this, but it... just felt like something he needed to say. Especially after all this time. ] I just needed to get it off my chest.
[ Because god knows how much of a emotional wreck he'll be if he constantly keeps everything under lock and key. ]
Hey... [ But his tone dips, as if he were annoyed, staring at the wall ahead of him. ] Are you trying to say that I'm lame? I don't need that this late at night.
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There's a small pause and then her tone sounds maybe a slight bit less deadpan than just now. ]
Do you always think this deeply about these kind of things?
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What if I do? Are ya' gonna call me lame for that, too?
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I guess I'd rather call it "dangerous". [ And she actually sounds more serious now. As far as that's possible where Ange's concerned, anyway. ] If you keep lingering too much on stuff like that, it'll all just get too much for you eventually. There's only so much shit people can take.
[ ... ] I guess what I'm trying to say is learn how to shrug things off a little better.
[ Like her. Because that's totally healthy, yeah. ]
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He takes a moment and lets her words sink, putting them into consideration and slowly weaving them out. It's not like he's trying to start an argument, but— ] I don't think I can do that.
[ He's always adding more weight on his shoulders and is (slightly) aware of it. Constantly concerned of keeping his friends alive and only continuing to build on the thought that he probably had no power to do that was all too common to him, so it shouldn't come to much of a surprise that he would overthink things of the past.
Especially when there's a half-eaten corpse that comes to mind. ]
Maybe it's because I think to much, but sometimes I... kinda need these things to help keep moving forward. You get me?
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.. she had been ready to give it up. To let go of everything. She can't see Jean doing something like that at all, for better or worse. (No, she won't put it that way even to herself, it's definitely for the better, he doesn't deserve that.) ]
You need to sing a girl to sleep to help keep moving you forward? What a weird guy.
[ For a moment she pauses though, and there's a soft breath with some actual emotion into it if you bother listening enough. ]
Well, I guess I don't mean that. I just really suck at talking about these kind of things. There's things even I'd rather not think about, you know. [ As unfazable as she seems and as much as she tries spreading that kind of philosophy.
There's a sigh and the sound of her rolling over in bed lazily. ] And I guess there's this and that I don't know how to talk to people about, either.. Hey, night time confessions are a well guarded secret, so you better not tell anyone that.
[ She's still saying it all with a casual tone though - it's probably so she can cover up later by saying she was just kidding or something along the lines of "I can't believe you'd fall for that.." ]
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[ He doesn't have time to live life carelessly and with regrets! ...
Only because he never knows if and when he'll ever die. YOLO. ]
Hey, you're... [ He actually bites his tongue for a moment. People opening up to isn't something that he's particularly adjusted to, and her words come to a surprise. And he's only even more shocked when he hears actual emotion in her words? (Dang girl you're just full of surprises.) ] You're not too great with this whole 'friendship' deal, are you?
[ Or being social at all, really. ]
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What a cruel thing to say to a girl in the middle of the night. [ DRYLY... because she honestly has heard far worse insults than something that's actually more an observation - and a true fact on top of it - than anything else. ]
Are you trying to suggest we're friends?
[ Is she trying to talk around the topic so she doesn't have to fully admit it?
Only time will tell. ]
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... You've heard something similar before, haven't you?
[ JESUS, GIRL... he almost feels bad. ]
Well don't you? You're the one that called, if I remember, and I wouldn't just pick up for anyone this late at night.
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Tc-- [ There's an oddly choked noise all of a sudden. Not like she's about to cry or anything, but more as if she's surprised or taken aback - which is already more than most people can say they've heard out of this girl. It takes her a moment or two before she can even get out more words than that. ]
What are you saying?! [ Yup, there it is, the tsun.. the true sign that Ange does not know how to friendship whatsoever. ] Don't just say you'd pick up the phone for me late at night like it's a big deal or whatever, moron! We just happened to talk a few times, that's all, right? You don't even know if you can trust me, so don't say something like that so carelessly!
[ There's no huff at the end of it, but let's be real, there might as well have been with how she rambled.. her cheeks are probably a little red too, but thankfully he can't see that. ]
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Well I would be a liar if I said I wasn't worried for a second. Getting a call in the middle of the night isn't a common thing, especially from someone who hasn't talked to me in forever. [ Is that a hint of teasing in his tone?
Why yes. Yes it is. What an asshole. ] Well you just happened to open up, right? Are you sure you can trust me with that sort of information? I mean, one click of a button and I can let everyone know something about you that a few probably don't even know...
But I won't. Because I do trust you, even if it seems stupid.
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Do you think I'm really going to give a shit if people know that I'm not exactly great with making friends? I'm pretty sure most of them already figured. [ UNFORTUNATELY.. it's hard to seem cool when you're actually a gigantic loser. ] But I guess it's a moot point if you trust me.. but.. you know, don't get it wrong, it's not like I particularly care whether you trust me or not. It means nothing to me.
[ Yeah. Clearly. It's why she's making sure to point it out elaborately.. ]
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Really? I didn't even notice until we had this conversation. [ Somehow it all managed to fly right over his head, but that's possibly because he's not the greatest at making friends, either... ]
... You know, pointing it out like that, you really make it seem like kinda do care. Even if it's just a tiny bit.
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Also wow, Jean, way to call her out on her tsun. There's a moment of silence from her end - because she's trying to force her tone down to its usual flat level again, but not like she's going to admit that - before she speaks up again. ]
What would make you think that.
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Well, I guess how you mentioned it? It was pretty obvious with how much you said you didn't care that you did, y'know? [ He doesn't know how to explain this kind of thing, it's way out of league in terms of anything. ] It didn't feel as direct as you usually are.
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Are you seriously calling me a tsundere? [ Of course he's not using the word - maybe since he doesn't know about it, people from his world tend to be a little behind on the times - but from the description it's obvious that it's exactly what he's trying to convey with more words.
And she's not a tsundere, okay. Totally not. Don't misunderstand. Don't let the twintail skirt and thigh highs combo fool you!! ]
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A tsunwhate? [ MODERN PEOPLE.... they're too strange. ] Listen, I have no idea what that is, but if that's your first response then you probably are.
[ Just a thought? Because he's just trying to be honest over here... ]
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No, I'm not! I'm exactly telling you that because I'm not one! [ And that's exactly why she's denying it now.. multiple times.. in a row.. because she's not.. yeah.
Obviously Ange is shooting herself in the foot here, but in the middle of her frenzy she hardly realises that as she starts to explain. ]
Tsundere is.. well.. people who are rude on the outside but all stupid and mushy on the inside, I guess. Girls who'd give you chocolate and then punch you into the face, maybe.
[ Sounds like a perfect description of Ange lbr. ]
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[ There's some dry concern in his voice, but the concern is mainly directed towards himself. ]
The more you protest and the more you talk about it, the more it fits your personality. [ A pause. ] Tsundere, right? So should I start calling you... pfff... Tsunge? Ha... hahahahaha!!
[ Shit, he's laughing at his own joke. ]
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Calling Jean late at night was a bad decision, she's slowly starting to realise.. +1 for Ange's pile of regrets, apparently. ]
Call me that once to my face and I'll show you a world of pain. [ Maybe it'd be more intimidating if she didn't still sound so icy about it, but this is how the Tsunge operates, sorry to say... ] And wipe that smile off your face, moron!
[ Not that she can see it, but.. well, with the way he's laughing.. ]
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Oh, I'll be sure to call you that from now on. [ Because he may not hit a girl back but that only proves that he's right. ] So, are you glad you called me of all people in the middle of the night?
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Yeah. I'm so happy I could cry. [ But even though she's obviously aiming to use her usual deadpan tone, the
tsunfrustration in it is obvious, causing her to practically grumble the words. ] Maybe this means I'll have to bother you every night from now on.[ If she can't have her dignity, then no one is getting any sleep!! ]
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[ And he's being honest about this one. ]
But since you're so happy, you can go to sleep just fine, right? Just don't cry into your pillow too much or you'll be pissed by the time you wake up.
no subject
Sure, I'll go to sleep now, but it's not since you told me to or anything. Don't get a big head or you'll start looking like a horse.
[ Beep.
Looks like someone just hung up to put her pillow over her head instead. ]